Changing my thoughts will change me - Life-Review

http://eqafe.com/i/arosouw-life-review-changing-my-thoughts-will-change-me

I had a similar life experience to the Interdimensional being in this Interview. I too, allowed myself to firstly attempt to compensate for the abusive harmful thoughts that existed within my mind, that led me down a path of adult depression and moodiness into looking for ways to basically -escape my inner reality - the thoughts that drove me daily closer and closer to my own suicide. When I realised that I could not escape who and what I had become and that I could not live with myself in this world, where being who you 'wanted' to be was not accepted and most certainly not affordable unless you have lots of money - I then attempted to change my thoughts into something that would change me into somebody I could 'live with.

So, this interview reminded me of the days I spent pouring over spirituality books, looking for a reason and cause for my existence, a way that I could transform myself through philosophy and spirituality into a new, special me. The emphasis here was on special - on wanting to no longer just be 'Andrea' - but to be a person others could look up to and 'respect. I moulded myself into 'a Wiccan' and when this did not work I transformed my inner thoughts into outer forces by meddling with demons on a ouija board and eventually becoming possessed by a dark force that slowly consumed me, until I again placed myself before death - as the symbolic role play of a girl fighting a demon in a battle between good and evil.

In the end as I was thrown back into a state of realising my aloneness with my own thoughts - and I had exorcised the demons I 'thought' were responsible for my inner demise - I soon realised that by awakening my old nature and returning to who I had always been when the proverbial dust had settled after my demon-encounter - that i would have to face this end point. This I found to be the most difficult - even more difficult that fighting off a legion of demons - as I was now having to face the layers of physical programming that was me, that was fighting as me as my patterns I had constituted since childhood. Each time I 'crashed' back from whatever new gimmick/profession or religion I was trying, I would come back to me - but find a different polarity experience where I was now either really shit, bad, ugly and useless, or feeling good, doing well and reaching for greatness. At the end of each cycle I got to see where I had just come from and how I spent months or years trying to live out that polarity to either avoid or get closer to the opposite polarity - and this we have all come to call 'Life'.

http://demons.desteni.org/

In the end I saw how all my attempts to run away into new age therapies, spirituality, religion and philosophies -was all so in vain - as what remained after I removed the inner polarities of good/bad and the desire to be more than my physicality - was truly a relief as I threw off the layers of expectations placed upon me by myself and through this world I had created through all the definitions and values of what it means to be human.

Join us either on the forums or in the DesteniIProcess Lite (where you first develop writing skills and become familiar with the tools used in DIP Pro) or DIP Pro - for those who are already comfortable with writing and self-disciple to take on the conscious, subconscious and unconscious conditioning through consistency and dedication.

For other Life Reviews: The Crazy Mother and Superman of the Streets

Demonology perspective on - Deconstructing Constructs and old Patterns

Demonology perspective on - Deconstructing Constructs and old Patterns

Original post: http://demonology.co.za/forum/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=137&p=1260#p1260

So , while working with -deconstructing the constructs - at what point do you stop the patterns, while you are participating in them, by applying self forgiveness in the moment as it happens - thus stopping the energy addiction to the entire time loop? I suggest now to see if you are able to stop the patterns while you are participating in them. In this you will find that the relationship might change - because you are now longer walking the pattern, how it changes you will have to breathe through in the moment.

You have written allot of self forgiveness on points you realized after they happened. I suggest continue, as this strengthens ones 'self will in the moments when you face 'the pattern'. When in 'the pattern' only your self honesty will determine how you will continue participating in that which you created a long time ago - or to see them for what they are and apply the necessary steps to stop the pattern as it comes to an end, just to start again.

The mind will say 'but I have to win or I have to get him to appreciate me for who I am or what I am doing now' - I suggest be aware of this - as this is the same system of 'wanting a male to recognize you'. Remember at this stage even though you are walking through your relationship design - you are still it - therefore without actual clear statements based on what you will no longer say and do - you are simply changing the patterns - so they look different to you - who's starting point is mostly to prove something to yourself.

When one is walking process, basically alone, with only your previous self forgiveness here on the forum to assist -it is easy to allow oneself to remain in the same energy pattern - just sugar coating it to look different.

So - I suggest at this point start seeing if you are able to identify which points are now morphed into new points. You will be able to identify them because they take you into the same energy possession whether it is you saying to the male - 'please hug me' or you saying 'you know relationships are really just dishonesty'. The way that the relationship energy is obtained is changed within you, as you - and sometimes this is interpreted as 'I have changed and am directing my relationship' Are you able to say for sure that you are not repeating the same patterns but under different conversations and presentations?

I suggest write down how in the past you would participate in the pattern as your words, thoughts and deeds and how, if any - these points have changed and are now morphed through supportive backchat into different behaviors, words and self belief into a new 'picture' - but underneath you still react in pain, embarrassment and self hatred - when the male rejects 'you'.

Also give us feedback on any points where you have taken your self forgiveness statements through to living correction - in which you see within yourself that you remain consistent and do not change or revert back to old patterns.