Today am writing about a Self-Support technique I have used for the last few years since I have started applying the tools of Self-Honesty, Self-Forgiveness and Self correction as suggested through the Desteni “I” Process. At the beginning of my Process I experiences as many do a Patterns and Cycle of Self Doubt, Anxiety and not knowing how to Direct myself within the points in my world I saw required direction. These Fears and insecurities had become a part of my personality and this ‘Self-Accepted Design’ was based on my Pre-Programming which largely had to do with the traits I inherited from my father and mother as well as that which I grew up believing about myself. When I started directing myself within my world and those aspects of my world I experienced as being ‘to much for me to do’ – I worked primarily with the following two aspects (as a guideline).
1. Firstly it is was to stop this Pattern which I had accepted and allowed which is confusion, anxiety, ‘not knowing what to do’, ‘keeping yourself anxious’, ‘not sleeping’. This 'stressed/anxious person’ obviously has no relevance because it in no way whatsoever assisted me to actually direct myself, it only served as a ‘state of being’, which I had come to accept and allow about myself. Here I focussed on stopping the participating in the 'state of being' which means - when I experienced any point coming up to breath, stop, do not allow the thoughts which takes me into anxiety, fear, etc. This is one step within the 'de-programming of self' which requires daily consistency. I found that it had taken me years to build up this pattern through constant participation as allowing thoughts to generate reactions as anxiety and fear (next I will get to ‘identifying the thoughts’). So the reaction part where I 'go into' the experience is where I now apply myself in stopping, breathing, and allowing oneself to focus on letting the energy which is anxiety or fear to move through and out the body as I breath. I allow the air from my lungs to breath in and fill the body, allowing all built up tension to be replaced by steady breathing. Through this I release the Patterns of tension. Initially I found myself having to focus on my breath application every few minutes as I work through this pattern.
2. Then I started writing down a list of the major points within my world I had difficulty directing effectively which had caused me to get to this point of anxiety/frustration with self. I wrote down for example the 5 major points – and underneath each one write down why I have allowed this point to compound to this - why did I not direct it in the time frame that it required direction. Here I noticed an interesting thing. I realised that as mentioned above I had now within myself accepted and allowed certain perceptions of myself which I had fed over time. These perceptions as my pre-programmed design of who I am within what I had become in this world - is not real. I participated in my self -programming because within this world I allowed myself to be impulsed to survive as the Mind because of Fear survival. Thus I was taken to a point of Survival as my own pre-programming - as personality. So based on what my fears are I had accepted and allowed myself to hide from that which I 'believe' I am not able to direct. So realising that my reactions and experiences are not real I then wrote down and did Self-Forgiveness on the idea and Self-Belief that all these points within my world are too much or too intense for me to direct.
Now I observe each 'problem' I had written down - which are aspects of myself as my world which requires directions. How does one now direct each point? I wrote about each point observing firstly why I had never directed it and what is required of me to direct the point. Now that I had written down the common-sensical - what is best for me (which is what is best for all) direction that requires to be taken: Now I was ready to take one point at a time and you walk the solutions.
So as an example let us say I was experiencing anxiety around doing my Blogs. I experienced and uneasiness when it came to writing about myself and applying Self-Forgiveness. When observing 'how' to direct this point I notices that the justifications that move are 'I don’t know how' or 'what if others think my writing is stupid'. These thoughts I identify because when it comes to the Self Forgiveness and Self Correction part – I apply myself within common sense - meaning: these fears and reasons are based in Ideas - therefore are not real. Therefore I apply self Forgiveness from the perspective that I give writing a value based on what ‘I thought’ about myself in relation to what ‘I thought’ others thought of me and now I am able to direct me to write unconditionally about everything, daily, practicing the tools of:
1. Becoming specific in what I write about
2. Applying Self Forgiveness on all points I have highlighted within my writings where I exist in pre-defined programming as Fear, limitation, ideas, personality - instead of living here Equal and One as the Physical.
Once I identify what each resistance was to 'not directing myself I observe that each ‘resistance’ was based in something that is not real. Because once I saw a point which required direction in my life and that it is what is best for me as what is best for all - then I made the decision to walk the steps of application within the point – and then one decides to stick to the self-application.
Sometimes I come across a point that in itself I believed must be directed however realised that the point in itself was not real. An example of this is ‘I feel that I should be more friendly like some of the other Desteni members (just an example). When writing about this point – I observe again what is the actual point - is it real, does it actually Support me or is it based on an Idea. I found that initially many of the points I struggles with were based on ideas I had of who I should be within this world based on morality of good/bad, nice/ugly/friendly/unfriendly/ pleasant/ not pleasant – instead of me directing me here in self-honesty in every moment – which does not require friendliness as ‘doing what is best for all’ is not an emotion or a polarity reaction – it is ‘what is best for all’.
Therefore I found it is important to write about each point I had not been able to direct effectively to find the polarity based ideas I created around it. I observed - ‘is the point actually real (actual points within your Physical world that requires your direction as self-support) or based on a belief? From this list I found the actual points which are supportive in my world, through which I now directed my day, my Life to Support me in becoming more effective.