Demonology Forum Perspective: Sex Addiction
Original thread: http://demonology.co.za/forum/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=655&p=1329#p1329
What I found to be the most effective was the following:
When I decided to stop masturbating for at least a 6 months, I would fall on the point of saying 'oh well what harm will it do etc'. Now what I realised about this small points - and this is where you have to be self honest with yourself - is that they exist as excuses to not fully give up the addiction to sex/masturbation. So then instead of stopping I made a deal with myself that I would only masturbate once a week. What was imperative for me to note here though was that if I did go for longer than one week -say a month without masturbation, then I would start having dreams, headaches etc, thus my body was programmed into and as the mind, as the addition. So I realized that I had to, for myself take a stand and stop masturbating for at least 4 months, because this would clearly show if I would fall or not. so I did and I had many experiences in which my body would react as the programming existent within the sex system.
When these experiences would come up, I would breathe through them, realising that they are outflows of a system that I have already designed through years of addiction to sex. For example for days I would think about sex, attempting to rationalize this as 'I am thinking about sex because I am deliberately stopping my natural self expression'. This is not natural self expression but a possession. The physical naturally expresses itself, however the mind turns it into an obsession and addiction because of energy.
So - as you mentioned in your post - each one makes that decision to stop an addition once they realize that the addiction is directing them and they are not directing themselves. Thus, in self honesty observe for example the intense desire in you to touch. You might ask the question - 'should this really be such an issues?' If you observe what is happening you will notice that the desire for touch is still one aspect of the same addiction to sex. it has simply 'focused' itself specifically into the desire for hugging, touching - because you are forcing the mind into 'fewer options'. Thus if you observe - the desire to touch another is still based on an idea. So - you have already walked through many points - very cool. Now you are at the last point one could say - where the mind will use the last desperate attempts to get you to give in. Observe the following - and this you probably realised - when you initially would stop an addiction - that desperate feeling you get as an almost 'physical take-over/possession' where you feel yourself almost unable to stop - that is the mind going into possession to get you to touch. This would be interpreted as 'I desire so strongly to do what is natural'. In the mind one will change the actual information to suit what one wants to hear, so in essence the mind is blaming you for depriving yourself of something 'so natural'. However - you will be able to tell if this is the same addiction pattern playing out.
How does one know this is the exact same addiction?
If anything moves inside you, be it a thought in relation to wanting to touch, or a physical experience - then you know it is the mind reacting to not having its energy fix. Remember - addictions work with the experience of energy. So be it watching pornography, masturbating or touching someone, whatever moves in you as a result of what you are doing - is energy. Some points have an energy that is associated as uncomfortable and some have an energy that is pleasant. Either way we have defined energy that moves through the physical as either pleasant or unpleasant and your mind is using the energies that it knows you do not like and want to get away from to push you into getting the energy that it really is addicted to. So be observant of any movements inside of you - because they are all energy based and they all come from your perception and ideas of what touch and intimacy is.
My suggestion, if you really want to see this point through, is to stop all games you play around touching. Simply make an agreement with yourself to stop playing the energy games and if necessary walk away from points where you could compromise yourself. The other option is as you mentioned to place yourself in a situation where you will touch someone, but what will that go to prove - you will simply 'time-loop back to the same point where you will see a pattern building up in which you will have to arrange your life around being able to touch someone'. This I found only reaffirms the minds addiction because you are giving it the energy that it wants. The justification though becomes that of 'this makes sense, or 'but isn't touch natural?'
While you focus for a long time on stopping, not participating with games with people in your world where you know what you are really doing - and if you are in a situation where you are hugging someone for example - to not deny oneself by shouting at the person to get away from you - lol -but instead to breathe through the experience and not attach any value within the mind as 'this is so special'.
I suggest focus on working with self touch. I practiced this for a long time and initially it would 'freak me out' (a negative energy experience) when i would give myself hugs or touch myself. The mind would throw all kinds of excuses at me to not do it, in the form of thoughts (you know you are being silly right now, right?), and uncomfortability as sweating, physical pain etc. I pushed through this and only focused on this for months, to make sure that I got back to me first before I interacted with others. Otherwise I would always know that my attempt to say 'I was not addicted' was a lie, and that my addiction would always be directing me, using me as my mind to convince me - every step of the way. I did not want to be a pawn in a game called my life, I wanted to live for real, so that when I touch another or initiate intimacy with another I know that my mind is quiet and I am enjoying physical touch as the physical, but also not dependent on the moment. It is then also important I found that even if you walk in an agreement/relationship, after learning what it means to touch self and to be self intimate (being comfortable with yourself in all ways), it was still important for me in moments (and I still do this) to 'test myself'. If I am sitting with my partner for example and I start feeling 'horny' I must be able to in one breath get up and walk away, and at another time maybe I would initiate intimacy. However the point is to remain clear on any movements within self that it does not again build up a dependency and that even in an agreement/relationship, both partners must agree to sex, but also be fine to go without it for a while, without it changing either person or the agreement. Therefore both agree in a moment that you will now play and have sex, but also know that both are clear if there is no sex for a while, thus both partners know they are not being directed by sex. Therefore you want to practice these points for yourself for months and maybe even years before you go into an agreement and I insisted that my current agreement partner do the same - walk through your addictions first until we both apply ourselves for ourselves as equals within an agreement.